Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
