I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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