dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
