it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
