I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
