Me too!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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