So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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