I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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