U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
