Did you just see the Batmobile???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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