I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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