Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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