it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
