I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
