Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
