who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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