she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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