I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
