This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
