eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
