i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
