is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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