He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
