hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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