It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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