It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
