Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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