the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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