all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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