In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
