I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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