he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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