Fine. I'll sleep in my office
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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