i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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