My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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