She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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