it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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