I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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