dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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