i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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