I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
