fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
