I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
being pregnant is like rehab
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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