I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize