Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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