check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize