...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize