I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
