Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
