Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
