who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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