im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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