When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
