I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
