I am in a vortex of obligation.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
