So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
