when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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