pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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