My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
