Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
