It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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