This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize